The Language of Choice – How to determine where you are speaking from.
The Power of Choice Wheel can help you recognize what quadrant you are speaking from by simply listening to the language you are using. I have broken down some of the key points for the two most common quadrants – Reactive and Fear-based, and Creative and Free.
Reactive and Fear-based
Past or future tense
Scarcity and lack
You will notice almost immediately which approach you are taking by noticing what tense your verbs are – past tense looking back at history and future tense looking forward to the yet to be created is the simple way. You can also listen to hear if you are blaming others – their actions have power over you or whether you are judging or criticizing others.
All these communication habits will let you know if you are in your own personal power or if you are giving your power away to others. In other words powerful or powerless.
Creative and Free
Present tense – the now moment
When you are in your personal power – powerful – you will automatically be speaking in the now moment, the present. You will approach issues as opportunities not problems. You will be accepting of what is really going on looking for ways you can take action to bring solutions forward. You will accept responsibility for your actions. You will also be coming from an attitude of abundance and gratitude. There is no finger pointing when you are in your personal power.
Others respond differently, they do not get defensive as they do in an environment that is fear-based and reactive. They tend to join in and raise their level of communication to match yours. Even if they do not the typical make wrong fighting doesn’t go on because you are not doing it!