There is that old expression that pops up often when we have lost a loved one to death, it goes something likes this:
“Life goes on.”
Short and sweet for sure and there is a piece missing – so does the dying.
“Life goes on”, is the rally call back to action, back to life, back to normal. Let’s move on, enough already and yes life does go on so let’s get back to it. So does the dying though.
Each day, each week, each month and each year we are reminded that our loved one has died and is no longer with us physically. We see a restaurant we used to frequent. An old friend calls to chat with our deceased loved one not knowing they have passed. Sunday at church. Monday at work. September and doing the canning.
All these events of life remind us of our loss, the dying goes on too.
October and the beginning of hockey season, thanks giving in Canada. November and the first snow, unless of course you live in Calgary, and thanks giving in the United States. December and the holiday season, Christmas week and Christmas day. Followed all to quickly by New Year’s Eve and the month of January and all the new it brings.
No New Year resolution for your late loved one though, the dying begins anew too.
The days are getting longer, spring is in the air and the birth of new buds and plants. The birds come back. The lawn needs cutting and all of a sudden its May. Plant the garden. Bring out the lawn furniture – all alone. Renew the car insurance, the home insurance too. Do your taxes without the help of your loved one who died last year and you are still feeling the dying even today. A birthday goes by uncelebrated.
The dying goes on too.
Knowing all this it would be good to plan for these obvious notable dates and be prepared to celebrate all the memories you shared with your loved one at these times as well as your feelings of sadness and missing. As life does go on the intensity of the dying will begin to diminish though with a little effort the sweetness and missing will always remind you of how much you loved.
Warmly and with gratitude