When you get right down to it there are only three things going on, on this planet in any moment. Something is birthed; something is living; and something dies. Because of our North American relationship with death, our denial of it, our fear of it, our war against it, our desire to banish it totally from life, we have lost one of the most important tools that can helps us live even more fully in the now moment – in that very instant where all life is lived; that dot in time where magic and miracles abound.
Look at your own life and remember:
A movie that really dragged on,
A relationship that overstayed its time,
A job that you hung on to even though you totally hated it,
A conversation you just wanted to end,
A car that was falling apart and racking up the bills,
A book you just couldn’t get through, or
A goal you could never seem to complete
These lingering or prolonged happenings are all the result of our collective unwillingness to face ‘death’ head on. Instead of letting the relationship die a natural death, we prolong it unnecessarily much to the detriment of all parties concerned. As opposed to letting go of a job, dying into unemployment, we stick it out too long to maintain our money flow and then resent it and complain about it.
Death has many names that disguise or soften the word death and thereby prevent use from fully embracing endings with appropriate rituals and ceremonies. This failure to honor endings keeps us stuck in the past with regrets and fretting about the future with worries it could happen again. In a very real way the fear of death keeps us locked out of the now moment minimizing our ability and capacity to live life fully present.
Look for these words in your daily life that do mean something has died:
Fired Let go Completed
Changed Left Transitioned
Loss Fatality Demise
Ended Divorced Played out
Over Gone away In a better place
Trashed Done in Finished
To become more and fully open to life in the present moment find simple ways to acknowledge ‘deaths’ closing the door on what was in a fully and healthy manner that enables us to be open more in the moment with less history being on to in a crippling fashion. Healthy endings also reduce the tendency to worry about the future and a recurrence of the past, also freeing us up to live more fully here and now.
These healthy endings could be in the form of a thank you note, a burning, a blessing, or an offering – some in the world ritual that demonstrates you are complete with what once was. When we are able to embrace endings in this way we become much more free to live life day to day with passion and joy.